HeartGnosis











The concept for this blog came to me during a moment of extreme, black depression. The type of depression that drives a person to suicidal thoughts. Since I’m not the kind of guy who is willing to kill himself, I had to think my way out of it.

So what caused this depression? For starters, I recently moved to a big city from a small rural town. As much as I love it, being single and alone in such a huge place isn’t easy. I, like most people I know, hate being alone. I started thinking of all the reasons I wasn’t eligible for the “girl of my dreams”.

 

First off, being in a wheelchair tends to cut down on a guy’s (and maybe a girl’s?) eligibility in the dating crowd. People simply don’t consider you date-able. They come up with their own ideas about you. Some worry you have a disease that they might catch or that one day may kill you. I don’t. Some believe (without asking) that you’re incapable of having sex. I am, thank you. Then there are those who believe that you’d make a poor choice of mate because you can’t dance or face so many hassles when going out in public. That’s probably the worst because those things aren’t false, but they can’t be changed, either.

 

On top of this, I’m not rich – I’m poor because I refused to get disability money from the government. I’m not a gorgeous metrosexual male. I don’t drive a car.  I refuse to pursue a career that I’m not interested in and instead focus on my making my own career through my artwork and what you see here. I don’t bullshit people, I’m not religious (though I’m spiritual) and I don’t have have a family to offer a future wife as a source of security. Alot of how I live ends up being a turn-off for girls. Oh, and I’m a geek obsessed with entertainment, too! Real winner, aren’t I?

 

That got me down and then I thought about all the other people out there either single or in relationships that make them miserable. Everyone feels depression, not just people with disabilities or who are poor or what have you. Alot of these people may feel like there’s nothing left to live for. I want to prove that there is plenty to live for. I want true love and to share my life with a girl who loves me for who I am. I’m not willing to feel bad about who I am and I don’t think anyone should.

 

So, cutting to the chase, my mission is to find that girl. I’ll go through whatever I have to. I’ll do anything I need to. I will not quit no matter what and the best part? I’ll take you along for the ride and spare no details, though I will change names to protect people’s pride in public.

 

One day I’ll have true love despite all obstacles. My heart knows this. That’s my mission and once I’ve accomplished it, the blog will have achieved it’s mission. You’ll hear all about it and I’ll archive everything for future generations.

 

Thanks for visiting and I hope you enjoy your stay!



nicedeb says:

Heartgnosis, thanks for visiting my blog.

I AM religious as well as spiritual, and you are now on my prayer list. (you got any particular “type” in mind)?

Just keeding. That last bit was a joke.

But I will pray for you. Depression sucks.



heartgnosis says:

Righteous! 🙂 That’s cool of you to be open-minded.



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